LET’S START FROM MY SECONDARY SCHOOL
The first day I went to my secondary school is also the first day I had chance to go so far away from my house and even out of my village (about 2.5km).
This was a gifted school for all talented students in our district was so curious and also scare as while my mom took me to school in a very old bike (she even did not know exactly where that school is as she only went to the field everyday, never go so far like that), other students were taken by motorbike and they were so confident.
And here is where my fear started and became worse. In the class, whenever I stood up, just to answer a very very small question from teacher, I got palpitations and if the answer was too long, my speech liked I am going to cry. And now I think you can imagine what would happen when I was asked to come to the board and tell everything we had learned in the last lesson. Believe me, it was hell. No matter how carefully I reviewed the last lesson, when standing in front of my classmates and teacher, I cannot remember anything and of course also cannot speak. I did not dare to share with my parents as I worried that they will be embarrassed about me while I always wanted them to be proud of me. Did I find any way to improve this? Yes I did and I thought because my friends were so good and I was not as good as them, I became not confident in myself. That’s a good reason as I tried to learn better to be more confident, but I only could be better at 1 or 2 subjects, then what about 10 left subjects. Then I quit.
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